Month: August 2021

Shadow work is a phrase that is used a lot these days in the spiritual community.  We all want to do it!  Shadow work is supposed to help get rid of all those negative emotions and feelings buried deep in the shadows of your past.  It brings you to a place where you feel light and energetic!  A place where you feel like you are ready to take on the world and the little things don’t bother you.

We have all seen these people.  Those which exude happiness.  The ones who are always bubbly and smiling.  Maybe we don’t want to get to the point where we annoy everyone with our year round christmas spirit… but I certainly want to feel happier and less annoyed every day.  Don’t you?

So what exactly IS shadow work?  

Shadow work is the process of examining and integrating your emotions into your present and future growth. 

Or in small words for people like me… shadow work is finding a way to make peace with all the icky stuff inside.


Now how do we do that?



1) Spend time reflecting on and examining your emotions. 

This is the first step because we cannot work on things that we cannot see.  To find your emotions try these activities: 
Think of a time when you were being criticized.
Think of a time when you were unfairly blamed for something.
Think of a time when someone close to you was unexpectedly upset.
Think of a time when you judged yourself.

With each of these memories, take note of your thoughts, your feelings, your emotions, and any physical sensations (tight muscles, tingling, warmth or cold, etc.)

Once you can identify your emotions, we can start working with them!

2) Ask for the perspective of others

Oftentimes we see ourselves one way, but others see us another way.  This is not about being right or wrong, but simply being able to see and acknowledge different points of view.  Having this broader view of ourselves is incredibly important when integrating our emotions as it gives us an opportunity to step outside ourselves and get a bird’s eye view of the situation.

Start with people you know and trust.  Maybe a long term friend, significant other, or family member.  Ask them to tell you about their experience when you were going through an emotional time.  A few example questions are:

How did I act/treat you during this time?
Did I seem to be sensitive to your feelings and emotions?
Did I act out of the ordinary?  And how?

Getting the perspective of another person allows you to relate to yourself in a new way that is impossible from your own internal experience.


3) Observe

After spending some time working with the past, it becomes time to work with the present.  Start using the new insights and understandings you learned about yourself and your emotions in the first two steps to observe your feelings and emotions as they arise in daily life.  This new perspective will help you change and direct how your thoughts and emotions flow through you.

4) Add space to your life

Now that you have begun to observe the feelings and emotions that come up in your daily life, add a bit of space between the emotion and your response.  Simply take a moment or two to let yourself feel and process the emotion which has come up, with no judgement.  This space allows us to change reactions into responses and is the first major milestone on the shadow work journey. 

As your emotions come up, ask yourself a couple of these questions:
Where do I feel the emotion in my body?
What is the name of this emotion?
Have I had this emotion before?

Asking these questions creates space between you and your emotions.




5) Understand why

The most visibly transformative part of shadow work is understanding why. This is the point in the shadow work process which everyone is trying to reach!   When we understand why we feel the way we do, we gain the power to choose our actions.   Up until now, we have been reacting and examining those reactions.  Once you understand why, you choose your actions when emotions arise and that choice is called a response. 

When you see people who never react to negativity, this is the step they have mastered.  These people understand why they have the feelings they have and respond to those feelings in a way that makes the rest of us stare in awe.

To master this skill, take everything you have done up to this point in the shadow work, and lay it all out in front of you.  Here you are creating a space between everything you feel, do, and think, so that you, the you that is behind all the other stuff, can play detective and understand what is going on below the surface. 

Examine each piece of the puzzle individually.  Really take your time and study it.
Then study how each piece fits together. 

We call this process “shining light on the shadows”. 

As you learn more and more about the puzzle, there will be more and more light shining upon the pieces.  When they have been brightened enough, they naturally leave the shadows and integrate into your growth as tools which allow you to guide and control your thoughts, feelings and actions. 

6) Practice!

The final step of shadow work is to practice.  Keep doing shadow work on a regular basis.  The more you practice, the easier it becomes and the faster you will shine light into the unconscious darkness.

If you follow these 6 steps, your shadow work journey will be one of continuous growth and expansion leading you to a happier and brighter life!

People have wondered, “Sligathly, why do you always start the fires on top of the coals of the previous fire?”

The fires are always started on the coals of the previous fire to demonstrate a very desirous life principle.

When building a fire, it is helpful to have used coals as these start burning very easily and continue to put out heat for a long time. Just like starting a fire, starting a life is much easier when the previous generation has given us a way to start off quickly, or “with a head start” if that is how you’d like to say it.

This requires a conscious effort with the previous generation.

At the end of every fire, if we were to simply let the coals burn themselves out, we would have no coals to help with the next one. So to have the ability to easily light a fire again, we must take steps to preserve the coals at the end of each fire. To do this we follow simple steps.

These same steps can be used to preserve the knowledge, learning, and understanding of a previous generation to help the next.

First we choose when the end will come. This is a conscious choice, not an accident.

Then we make sure there are enough resources to last until the chosen time with the required amount for helping the next generation. When we are talking about a fire, we must make sure there is enough wood to continue burning until the end, but not so much that it cannot be turned to coals before being extinguished.

When speaking about humans, we want to preserve enough of what we have accumulated to give the next generation what they need, however too much can be more of a burden than a help just as a large piece of wood is a burden to lighting a fire.

Once we have ensured that there are enough resources to complete the current goals, and just enough will be left for the next generation, we complete our time and move on to the next activity. With a fire, this means simply pouring water over the coals to extinguish the flames.

With humans, it means reaching a point where we stop the main tasks of our lives and simply start to do after life activities. We give what is necessary to the next generation. We use up the extra resources we have. We make sure that we are comfortable and happy. Then we settle down and relax for the remainder of our days focusing on the opportunities that are coming.

The last principle this process teaches us is that of remembering the old without causing harm for the future.

With the fire, each time we light the coals, that generation is gone. It only lasts to help the fire immediately after it. We remember the many many fires that have been built in the pit as this is what gives the overall character to the fire pit, but the actual coals all disappear each time we light a new fire.

Similarly, we ought to remember the many many people and processes that have happened. This is what we call “culture”. But to try and hold on to the past for many generations will only cause struggle and make a mess. Think about the coals of the fire. If we were to try and keep coals from the original fire to light every other fire, it would need to be a lot of coals for one, and for two, it would make quite the mess for whoever is tasked with safeguarding them. And more complications arise from that.

With humans though, we have a tendency to try and hold on to what that one person from two or three thousand years ago said. It gets passed down from generation to generation getting messier and messier, losing the original context and becoming less and less helpful. Exactly as lumps of coal would do.

The fire teaches us to remember the original fire. It teaches us to hold onto the practices which were started generations ago. And it teaches us to let them be in the past, growing what we can during the present, and preparing the way for the future.

Following these life lessons, is a way to grow society generation after generation while making great strides to keep the fires of our lives burning strong and vibrant forever.

As we have discussed previously, meditation is “focusing your mind for a moment”. 

But why?

What is the goal of focusing your mind for a moment?

Unfortunately, the full understanding of the answer will only come once you have practiced, however, we can get an idea from other experiences. 

When people start meditating, they do it for a variety of reasons.  There is usually an end goal in mind at the start. 

But then we have to back up for a moment and ask ourselves “are we ready to reach the end?”

The answer for most of us is no.  And that is ok!  So far, there are claims of 2 people who have reached the end goal of meditation.  Buddha himself, and Jesus Christ.  No one else even claims to have gotten there. 

So then what are we doing with meditation?

We are laying the groundwork!

If you want to do anything in life, you first need to lay the groundwork and put in the mundane daily effort to get to where you NEED to be, so you can go where you WANT to be. 

This starts with learning how to focus and becoming an expert at it. 

In hockey, do they teach how to shoot a goal, or how to hold the stick first?

In driving, do they teach you how to set the gps, or how to use the gas and brake pedals first?

When learning to paint, do you learn the fine details of the masters, or how to hold a brush first?

Most people get into meditation seeing the masters in their meditative state.  A great example of this is the Shaolin monks!  In their meditative state, these incredible human beings are able to do superhuman feats like take a spear to the throat!!!

But they did not start there.  These are people who have mastered the skill of focusing and then have directed that skill to a specific task.  The same as a hockey player who masters control of the puck so they can score a goal.  The same as the race car driver who mastered the gas brake and steering so they can drive at 200 mph safely.  The same as Leonardo da Vinci  mastered the brush stroke before painting the last supper. 
Now it is time for you to master the skill of focusing so that you can direct it to achieve your goals. 

That is the goal of meditation.  It is not to calm anxieties, it is not to quiet the mind (this is impossible so don’t even try), it is not to look hip on instachat or snapogram.  The goal of meditation is to perfect your ability to focus.